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I love rituals because they increase a sense of renewal, strength, groundedness, clarity, and creativity. Rituals are an act of self-love, and as you practice yours, you will strengthen your resiliency and create what you desire. Here are 20 ideas for rituals you can add to your routine: Bless everything in your life each morning […]
I have exciting news: A former client of mine, State Senator Deb Soholt and former Secretary of Education Mel Schopp— both from South Dakota— have formed a new company called Influential She. Through their amazing lives and careers, they discovered that women have an amazing ability to influence the world. But to do that, they need […]
We often hear “It’s the little things in life that matter.” That small remembrances or thoughtful gestures are what really count, and make the biggest difference in life. Yet, it is easy to get caught up in the “big stuff”… creating a successful business or trying to get that next promotion, finding the perfect partner, being the best parent, building wealth, designing the ideal home, publishing a book, perfecting the body. When attempting to achieve our dreams, the small day-to-day acts of kindness are sometimes quickly dismissed, easily forgotten or completely overlooked. In trying to achieve those soulful aspirations, the people and things we care most about often get ignored, sidelined or even dismissed.
There is nothing wrong with setting out to accomplish great things, but the journey along the way matters. And, you might just get there quicker and more graciously by paying attention to the details. It’s like trying to run a marathon. If you have trained slowly and steadily over a period of time, you can achieve it more easily and with less damage to your body than if you just go out and run 26 miles the first time.
I believe in doing the small deeds consistently in order to build trust, stay on track, create sustainability and build ultimate success. It’s the accumulative effect of doing small tasks, and it can be used in most life areas, especially in creating healthy relationships with people, your work, your money, your body and your spirituality.
Do you have enough time? Are you always trying to manage your schedule so you can squeeze a little more juice out of the few extra minutes and hours in a day? Do you feel like your schedule is driven by the demands of others, or worse, unrealistic expectations you hold for yourself? Do you have the need to know all of the answers NOW?
As a Life Coach, I often hear about my clients’ frustrations over not having enough moments to do the things they really want to do because they have so many other obligations and demands. They are in a hurry to do more, be more, achieve more. They have fewer occasions to do it and they engage in more distractions than ever. They want to find the answers quickly to resolve problems, to understand each other and to know outcomes; yet, many people do not understand how time can work for them, not against them. Does this sound like you?
How many lists do you make over and over again? Things to do. Errands to run. Groceries to buy. Work tasks to be completed. Goals to set. Calls to return. School supplies, clothes and gifts to purchase. Home repairs to be scheduled. Vacations to plan…the daily, weekly, monthly and yearly lists can be endless.
I have observed that people’s lives are run by their “to do” lists. They make long, detailed lists, often adding an unrealistic number of items to be completed in a short timeframe. I see clients focus on what is not done rather than celebrate what gets completed. When they do finish a job, they are so focused on moving forward to the next item that they give little thought or recognition for a job well done. Their sense of accomplishment, even self worth, is determined by the number items they check off on a regular basis, instead of the quality and balance they are bringing to their overall lives.
Are you being realistic about your lists and the role they play in your life? How many lists do you create, what is on them, and how much time do you allocate? Do you consider if an item really needs to be on the list, and if it brings you joy?
I originally wrote this piece in 2012 for Underwired Magazine’s Frienenemy Issue, and decided to publish this now since there seems to be more disruption and deeper divisions in relationships than ever before. In this blog, I have attempted to give you new tools, ideas and perspectives on how to handle difficult people, always for the sake of your own personal growth, expansion and evolvement.
I considered writing what it means to be a good friend, how to keep your friends or even how to handle it when people don’t like you or seem to be against you. But then I recalled the quote, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer,” and as it often happens for me, a message about self-discovery emerged. At first glance, one might think it is important to know your enemies so that you can stay a step ahead or be ready for the unknown or an attack. Yet it seems to me that this perspective comes out of fear, paranoia and distrust, and not faith, trust and certainty, which does not serve people. I believe there is something to learn from every experience and every person who comes into one’s path, especially those people who are more difficult— they can be our greatest teachers.
Do you have a budget- a way to allot your resources for a given period of time? Does your plan line up with your inspired goals, authentic values, true desires and expansive dreams- or do you stay stuck in survival mode, just trying to make it and hoping it will all work out? When you hear the word, “budget” do you get excited knowing you have a plan in place and feel positively confident that you make strong choices? Or, does the idea of a budget make you cringe with the negative thoughts of fear, guilt, doubt and uncertainty, making you feel like you are being held back, restricted or put in a box?
Discussions about how time and money are spent are everywhere, and for most people, it conjures up mixed reactions, good and bad. Many people are financially savvy, yet might be challenged with how they manage their time. For example, they work hard and make plenty of money yet they don’t indulge in the things that bring them joy such as playtime, downtime, enough time with people they love or even fully using their vacation time. Others might be efficient with their time, and but lack the resources or the confidence to create more abundance in their relationship with money, and thus feel vulnerable in life.
This month is my birthday month, and each year, I use the occasion to think reflect not only on the most recent year, but my life in general. I have found that my memories are often marked by occasions and the people in my life at that time. One particular event sticks out…several years ago, I attended my 30-year high school reunion in Texas, and was met with a wonderful greeting of my history.
As I returned home, I thought about the depth of those connections and how those wrinkles we have accumulated are hard won from our many choices, good and bad. Some crevices have been earned from the pain of stressful challenges such as divorce, death, parenting and just trying to make ends meet. Those so-called war wounds have made us all stronger and wiser. Other wrinkles, the good ones, were a tribute to well-lived lives, successful careers, lasting relationships and the expressions of those experiences through our smiles and laughter. I realized these “wrinkles” not only tell our stories but can also be a road map to heal our past, replenish our present and realign our future as we continually rejuvenate ourselves through smoothing out the painful bumps and staying connected to what’s brightly important to us.
Are you successful, and if so, in what ways? Are you happy with who you are and what you have achieved? Most often, success is defined by one’s accomplishments—favorable endeavors that come to fruition; the attainment of wealth, position or honors; or a person who has achieved success. This description might be true for you, but I also believe the definition of success must include the “who you are” part, and everyone must create their own personal definition of success.
So what does success mean to you? How do you define it, claim it and pursue it? Is it a plentiful bank account, a certain social status, the right home in the right neighborhood, a title at work or an educational degree? Is it your own happiness, the quality of your relationships or a balanced life? How do you know when you have made it to the top, truly arrived at your destination or reached your pinnacle?
What makes you feel good? The fleeting moments, the guilty pleasures, the favorite activities, the silly amusements, the little indulgences? There are many things that you can do to make yourself FEEL better in the moment. Sometimes those things are only temporary or fleeting. But what if those things stop working?
What makes you feel good are your authentic preferences. You must search inside, find your inner truth and make conscious choices. Are you fulfilling your soul’s deepest longing and purpose? If your answer is no, why not? Feeling good is a choice AND knowing and believing you have options.