Love & Relationships

It’s The Small Things

Photo credit: Theo Crazzolara

We often hear “It’s the little things in life that matter.” That small remembrances or thoughtful gestures are what really count, and make the biggest difference in life. Yet, it is easy to get caught up in the “big stuff”… creating a successful business or trying to get that next promotion, finding the perfect partner, being the best parent, building wealth, designing the ideal home, publishing a book, perfecting the body. When attempting to achieve our dreams, the small day-to-day acts of kindness are sometimes quickly dismissed, easily forgotten or completely overlooked. In trying to achieve those soulful aspirations, the people and things we care most about often get ignored, sidelined or even dismissed.

There is nothing wrong with setting out to accomplish great things, but the journey along the way matters. And, you might just get there quicker and more graciously by paying attention to the details. It’s like trying to run a marathon. If you have trained slowly and steadily over a period of time, you can achieve it more easily and with less damage to your body than if you just go out and run 26 miles the first time.

I believe in doing the small deeds consistently in order to build trust, stay on track, create sustainability and build ultimate success. It’s the accumulative effect of doing small tasks, and it can be used in most life areas, especially in creating healthy relationships with people, your work, your money, your body and your spirituality.

Reflect on Your Past

Photo credit: Jacob Surland

This month is my birthday month, and each year, I use the occasion to think reflect not only on the most recent year, but my life in general. I have found that my memories are often marked by occasions and the people in my life at that time. One particular event sticks out…several years ago, I attended my 30-year high school reunion in Texas, and was met with a wonderful greeting of my history.

As I returned home, I thought about the depth of those connections and how those wrinkles we have accumulated are hard won from our many choices, good and bad. Some crevices have been earned from the pain of stressful challenges such as divorce, death, parenting and just trying to make ends meet. Those so-called war wounds have made us all stronger and wiser. Other wrinkles, the good ones, were a tribute to well-lived lives, successful careers, lasting relationships and the expressions of those experiences through our smiles and laughter. I realized these “wrinkles” not only tell our stories but can also be a road map to heal our past, replenish our present and realign our future as we continually rejuvenate ourselves through smoothing out the painful bumps and staying connected to what’s brightly important to us.

Soul Sisters

Photo credit: My Sister, Michelle Blair

Soul sisters… the deeply connected females we believe know us best and love us the most. They are our closest friends who understand our essence, intuitively connect to our souls and withhold judgments by loving us no matter what. Many of us have close friends, but how many of them are truly, deeply, and madly your best girlfriend— a soul sister who has been to the depth of your despair and the heighth of your elation?

Make Your Words Stick

Photo credit: Kitti.Jacobovits

Do you say what you mean and ask for what you want? Do you use your words to build bridges and create connection with others? Or, do you find that it is a struggle to create a bond though your communication skills, sometimes coming away from an encounter feeling frustrated or disappointed?

Words hold great power in our relationships and encounters, and when used wisely, they can create strong bonds. We do this on many levels, from when we first meet someone and play the “who do we know in common game” to the soft whispers of slowly revealing ourselves to another person we desire getting closer. Do you have the glue that builds long-lasting relationships? Do you bond deeply to others? Are you building intimacy by sharing your hopes, dreams, vulnerabilities and fears?

What Goes Around Comes Around: Take Responsibility

Photo credit: eyesogreen

I have been thinking about karma lately and how it does, or does not, play a role in our personal responsibility. I hear people use the word often, and it appears to me, there are many interpretations floating around. For instance, karma seems to have become pop culture’s word for rationalizing the good or bad things that happen to us. I sometimes hear phrases like “It must be karma,” meaning destiny or positive outcomes; “That’s my karmic debt,” implying pre-destination; or “She must have bad karma,” signifying bad luck.

Based on the many traditions and modern-day perspectives, it is no surprise that the word “karma” is overused, abused or the catch-all phrase when there is not a reasonable explanation for why something happens. Are people trying to chalk things up to “karma” as a way of not dealing with issues or to make meaning out of not having enough valid information to discern what is really happening? Is karma being used as an explanation when people are stuck in life-long patterns such as addictions, relationship issues, money problems and other serious life challenges? 

In my opinion, it does not matter what definition you choose because the point is that karma asks you to change in order to heal. It asks you to take responsibility NOW for your past and present actions, and change your behaviors going forward.

10 Ways Showing Compassion Can Lead to More Success at Work

Compassion is an emotion felt within ourselves and as a result, a desire to ease the pain and suffering of those around us is ignited. This interpersonal process involves the ability to notice, feel, or perceive another person’s pain and to be with or take action to help alleviate that person’s suffering.

Either way, suffering is suffering… I always say to my clients, each person’s suffering is as big to them as another person’s. There are many different ways to show compassion for others; however it MUST come from the heart. If we can meet suffering with loving-care and kindness, compassion will naturally arise.

Here are 10 ways showing compassion at work, and in life, can lead to more happiness and success.

What Do You Bring to the Table?

Photo credit: jenny downing

I love gathering around the table for meals. Whether it is a special occasion such as Thanksgiving, a dinner party with good friends, Sunday night family suppers or lunch with a friend…. I love the idea of “lunching” and “dinnering” for the sake of sharing a meal and having great conversation.

Communing starts with eating, drinking, telling stories, and then moves to sharing a part of ourselves and learning more about each other. It goes beyond just lunch or dinner…


Photo credit: Tess Thompson “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” – Melody Beattie I am grateful for loving […]

Fall in Love… Every Day

Photo credit: Els

Falling in love, being in love, staying in love… the wondrous state of loving someone and being loved in return. This experience is one of the greatest desires for most humans…the exhilaration, good feelings, and ecstatic joys that come with love. Yet, how do you bring this romantic love into your life with another person at the exact moment in time and then keep it alive? In other words, how do you get love, sustain love and evolve love?

I believe attaining amorous love begins with you. You MUST love YOU first. Whether you are in a relationship, getting out of one, or desiring a new one, the first step is looking within and truly loving what you see and then sharing that beauty with another.

Show Your Affection

Photo Credit: Leo Hidalgo

I admit it…I am a romantic at heart. I melt watching people hold hands, exchange sweet glances and give pecks to one another on the cheek. I enjoy seeing couples, young and old, honor their love by showing affection, warmth and kindness to each other.

What keeps you from fully expressing your own feelings and affections towards others? Do you have an open heart not only to your partner but also others in general? Are you comfortable in your own skin and feel confident about the person you are presenting to the world?